Augusta 70.3 Race Report!!!

Pre-Race

I arrived in Augusta later than planned on Friday, but I was determined to not be rushed and not forget any of my gear, so I took my time getting out of town and getting there. The bad part was that it meant I didn’t make it for the athlete check-in on Friday. But again I refused to stress myself out so I check-in to the hotel, got settled, walked around downtown Augusta a little including checking out the finish chute and then got an early dinner before heading back to the hotel to chill and get some shut-eye before a busy Saturday.

Saturday

I woke up early to train, I wanted to get in a short swim/bike/run before I had to pick Mom and Sarah at the airport. I headed down to the water, struggled into my wetsuit and jumped in! The water was chilly but I was so sweaty from struggling into the wetsuit I didn’t mind. I felt pretty good in the water, and actually couldn’t feel the current until I realized how quickly I was getting to the bridge. I finished the swim and got ready to do the bike/run.

One mental challenge was that I was out there alone and there were a lot of people training in groups and/or already had family there. But then I reminded myself that no one else was going to be out on the course with me tomorrow and that this was a good time to quiet myself, focus and collect my thoughts undistracted by any other training partners or worrying about family or friends.

The rest of Saturday was a whirlwind. Did my brick, which was good b/c I rode my bike to transition and got to talk with other athletes and some of the race organizers and get a feel for the swim exit and transition. Then a quick run before heading to athlete check-in, unfortunately not doing it the day before meant I had to stand in a verrrrry long line. Standing for hours the day before race day wasn’t the best move but so were hundreds of other athletes so I just took a deep breath and enjoyed the chance to talk with other athletes in line and perhaps get some pointers about my first half. The race was very well organized and there were hundreds of volunteers and actually they moved us through check-in pretty quickly. Next it was off to bike check-in and then to the airport!

Thank goodness when I got to bike check-in I ran into Coach John and Coach Mark. I don’t think I realized how much I wanted to be around some of my people until I saw them and I was so relieved to see the guys responsible for getting me there…although it also meant that the clock was ticking quickly towards race day and the nerves really started to set in!

The rest of the day was picking up family, a quick meeting with the coaches and other MPI athletes -- it was really great to be around the other athletes!!! Then it was off to an early dinner before heading back to the hotel to chill and lay everything out for race day!

7 p.m. -- We got back to the room and I started laying everything out, filled my water bottles, put on my compression socks and hopped on the bed to get off my feet, rest and chill and read over my race plan before going to bed.

10 p.m. -- Everything packed up, race plan read, water bottles full and chilling, breakfast ready for the morning, alarm set, tucked in, lights out! I didn’t end up staring at the ceiling as long as I thought I would and actually dozed off pretty quickly.

3:30 -- Woke up in a panic thinking it was time to get up. Looked at clock, nerves were in full effect, tried to go back to sleep but had little luck, still I laid there and tried to chill and dozed on and off until about 5:15 when the alarm went off.

Sunday -- Race Day

5:15 – Woke up and my heart was pounding…the adrenaline had kicked in full force! Took my pre-race cocktail of Advil, aspirin and Imodium. Drank some water, brushed my teeth, took many, many deep breathes and started getting dressed. Sarah helped me braid my hair and then we grabbed all the water bottles, my morning clothes bag, and headed to transition.

6:00 -- I got to transition, got body marked, loaded up my bike with the water bottles and nutrition: Plain water in the aero bottle, 3 bottles of infinite, a quartered pbj and cliff bar in the bento box as well a endurolytes and Advil. This is about the time it started raining…great!

6:45 – Bike loaded up and body marked, Sarah and I headed back to the hotel for one last bathroom break since my swim wave wasn’t until 8:15. The nerves were in full effect, adrenaline was pumping big time and I read my race plan one final time and sat there thinking for the first time about bailing. I thought “What if I just don’t go down to the swim start.” Then I got a text from Coach Murray: “Thinking of you, Have a wonderful day!” Great, I thought, I gotta do this now! Can’t let Coach Murray down!

7:15 – Headed to the swim start, the national anthem was playing as we walked over, wetsuit in hand, the rain was coming down pretty consistently now, nerves uncontrollable, which produced some nausea – but no time to worry about that it was time to put the wetsuit on and get ready to actually do this!

We kinda meandered over to the swim start and got to see the pros start…then wave 1 went in and I started slowly squeezing myself into my wetsuit – I swearing wiggling my roly poly body into that thing is the most stressful part of the race for me, the only thing that makes me feel a little less like a beached whale is that even the skinny people seem to break into a full-blown sweat wiggling into theirs as well!

I had sausaged myself about halfway into the wetsuit when the announcer declared that they were pushing everyone’s swim start time up, I guess b/c people were moving pretty quickly in the Savannah River with the help of the current! I hustled to get my timing chip and drop morning clothes bag off. That’s when I saw Jules and she told me I better really hurry up b/c the swim starts weren’t just moved up one minute it was one minute for every wave which really translated to being bumped up by about 5 or more minutes!

That’s when my heart started going about 200 mph and I just started hauling ass! I threw my morning clothes bag at some poor volunteer only to get halfway to the start before some girl pointed out I was still wearing my visor. I ran back to the bag drop-off and then back toward the swim start, all the while attempting to wiggly into the rest of my wetsuit, which was still only around my waist.

That’s when I ran into another MPI athlete Monica and we both just started shoving each other into the top of our wetsuits and zipped up! I have never been so relieved to see a friend in that moment as I was then! We got there just in time and had about 30 seconds in the corral before they announced “Women 30-34 head down to the water!!” We started walking under the starting chute and down to the water. That’s when I got really pumped! I high-fived Monica and started clapping my hands and hooting and was like “We’re doing this! Woooohooo!”

Heading down the ramp it was like the nerves fell away and it was just this moment of feeling like I had come a very long way and there was no turning back now! It was going to be what it was going to be and I was determined to run my own race, nobody else’s.

The swim

We jumped in the water, which was a bit chilly, but with the adrenaline, the wetsuit and the rain it didn’t feel too bad. Instantly upon hitting the water I had to pee and we had to treed water for about a minute before we could start and most triathletes just pee in the water but we were literally treading water on top of each other and with the temperature of the water as cold as it was, I was sure someone would feel the warmer water and I would then be dubbed the girl who peed on them so I got total stage fright and just held it thinking maybe I could go once we started swimming!

We got the 10 second warming and I got ready to go reminding myself that my race plan called for me to be on cruise control during the swim, it’s my strongest leg but with the current and the long day ahead my coaches had advised me they really didn’t want my race to start until I got on the bike….A couple deep breathes and the horn went off! Here we go! I am doing a ½ Ironman!!!!

I settled into my stroke pretty quickly and with how wide the course was and no waves beating us around like in an ocean swim everyone spread out pretty quickly. I thought about peeing for a second, but it just wasn’t happening. I decided I would deal with it during T1 or it would just get so bad that at some point during the swim it would just happen!

I maneuvered around a few girls and settled in pretty quickly. When an open water swim is less chaotic like this one was turning out to be I really use it to think about the rest of the race. The current was helping me move along pretty nicely and I was passing girls but making sure to stay in a pretty moderate heartrate zone. A few times I would get behind someone and draft for a bit, which was nice.

I kept remembering that it was a mile swim and wondering when the burning in my arms was going to start but it never did! I had walked between the swim start and the transition enough in the days leading up to the race that I could use the shoreline to spot when I was getting close to the swim finish, that said, I got there sooner than expected and as I ran up the boat ramp I thought I wasn’t sure if I was mentally prepared to get out of the water and on the bike!

Heading into the boat ramp was kind of a cluster and I tried to avoid getting mauled by anyone, especially some of the guys who had caught up to us. I ran up the ramp and saw Coach John and Coach Mark and realized I hadn’t started my watch. I shouted something to them saying as much as I started pulling down my wetsuit and Coach John just shrugged and said “Don’t worry about it!”

It was still raining and as we headed into transition I could hear volunteers telling athletes to be careful it was slick….despite the warning I hit just the right spot on the timing mat and slipped right into a nice split – thank God I’m flexible and years of gymnastics and plenty of adrenaline meant I was able to jump right back up. I ran up to the wetsuit strippers and sat down in front of two very nice young volunteers who peeled the wetsuit off me like a banana in about 2 seconds flat.

Let’s just say my T1 transition was significantly delayed by that much needed pit stop but I knew it was now or never! Finally after about 5 minutes I had all my soggy gear and was off on the bike.

The bike

It was raining pretty hard now and heading out of transition I got a big surge of energy from all the volunteers and supporters. I went passed the coaches and then further down the road Mom who I only noticed after I passed and heard her scream Go Allison!!! I looked back and waved which Sarah later told me made Mom freak out that I was going to crash!

The first 5 miles of the bike felt great! A little chilly because of the rain and no sun, but I was really feeling good and going at a nice clip. Then we started to get into some very moderate rollers and my bike started to feel like the back wheel was dragging. I kept going but something just didn’t feel right about the bike.

Jules came flying up on me shortly after the 5-mile mark: “Gooooooooooooooooo AJ” she screamed. I’ve never heard that girl scream that loud and considering she was going at least 20 mph wasn’t sure how she mustered the lung capacity.

The rain was getting pretty bad and after mile 16 I knew the hills were only going to get worse so I tried to really get my head into the bike. More and more people were passing me and shouting encouragement – that’s one really nice thing about our names being on our race numbers!

Even though people were passing me I kept reminding myself what my friend and experienced triathlete Brecht said about pacing the first 30 miles or so and the it’s a long ride and that I would see the people passing me again and that I didn’t want to bonk by hammering it in the beginning and then having nothing left at the end of the ride.

By the first water stop around mile 20 the rain was getting worse and I had to make the decision to tuck my glasses away. It sucked because the rain was beating the shit out of my face but my glasses were dark and it was getting too hard to see. I was still good with water so I just sped through the water stop but you had to dodge people stopping and the bottles people weren’t even attempting to throw off to the side of the road.

Around mile 25 the bike was really dragging and I stopped to see if I had a flat, thankfully I didn’t. I got back on but the bike still didn’t feel right. This is about the time that I really started struggling on the bike. I actually thought about getting off and just throwing in the towel rather than fighting the bike the whole way or that I didn’t do enough training on the bike, I wasn’t ready etc.…but I would spend several miles having such thoughts and would get to another mile marker or some flats and think I only have 20 more miles to go or that the bike was feeling smoother.

I just kept reminding myself that I had put in the training, that I had done hillier rides than this, keep riding, keep going, you’re getting closer. I would make deals with myself by mileage….just get to 25, then you’re halfway there, get to the 40 mile mark and you only have to do 16 more – you do that every year at Red Hills with way less training, piece of cake!

Finally we crossed back into Georgia and I knew we were close. It helped we got to go down this highway ramp which was pretty fun! I think I passed some volunteers and they shouted out 5 miles and I was able to turn on my legs again somehow. I had told myself I really needed to start spinning around mile 5 to flush out the lactic acid before the run.

That’s about when I started getting pumped on the bike, thinking I just gotta do the run and I’ve done this thing! You’re doing this!!! That’s about the time a semi came by blowing his horn and that got me really pumped! I started passing people ready to get to transition and off the bike and on the run!

I headed into transition with Mom and Sarah screaming behind me…it was still raining.

The Run

T2 was a bit smoother, no slipping and no pit stop but then I got confused as to where to exit for the run and headed the wrong direction at first. Sarah was just outside transition right in front of my spot and could see I was confused and asked a volunteer where the run exit was and shouted at me which way to go. Yet another moment where Sarah stepped up like no other and I thanked God for her for about the millionth time!

Knowing I hadn’t drank as much Infinite as I needed to on the bike and my nutritional intake was pretty low and I needed all the energy I could get for the run, I came out of transition with a bottle, I was able to drink about half of it before handing it off to Sarah who ran along with me for a bit. Heading out I got to talk to her and I told her I wasn’t happy about my bike. She told me I had a great swim – I didn’t believe her but then she told me my time which was 31 minutes -- about 10 minutes faster than my dream day time -- and that overall I was having a great race.

She dropped off and I continued to shuffle along, getting ready for 13.1 long miles, as I came up the road past the transition area a bunch of other runners merged in with me and I could tell they were fast which must have meant they were on the back side of the run…I asked a girl next to me and she confirmed that yes, she was on her second loop. Until then I had kinda forgotten it was a double loop run. Ugh!

Turning into the first mile and down Broad Street cars were next to us and Mom and Sarah pulled up next to me and drove along for a minute, which was fun! I focused on my breathing and setting a pace. Finally I got to the first water stop, which meant mile 1 down, which was a huge relief!!! 1 down 12 to go!

Once on Broad Street and getting into the downtown area the run got pretty fun. The crowds were amazing and people were reading your name off of your race number and shouting for you or running out onto the race course and high fiving you or giving you thumbs up and telling you to just keep going! I got a lot of “Get it girl! Keep going girl you got this!” It’s funny how you can hear that people are impressed by the tone of their voice or the way they say your name.

My favorite fans were the residents of Augusta who were exceedingly grateful for us bringing 3,200 carb-loading athletes into their restaurants and booking their hotels and giving them a nice economic boast for the weekend. One of them told my Mom that this was better business for the city than the Augusta National Golf Tournament and noted that triathletes and their fans are much nicer than the golfing crowd.

During the run throughout the downtown neighborhoods residents stood on their porches and front yards, held hoses out for us to run through when the sun finally peaked out from behind the clouds and the rain ceased, sat in lawn chairs and asked where we were from and thanked us for coming to their town! My favorite local spectator was an African American women with a cowbell who would intermittently shake the cow bell while shouting encouragement, as I ran past her porch she shouted, “You go girl, ain’t nothin’ but a thang, ain’t nothing but a thang!!!”

I kept going and also got encouragement from the faster athletes passing me who were also super encouraging although I kinda hated them for being on their second loop when I wasn’t!

Finally I got to seem Mom and Sarah again and could see the MPI tent. Of course Jules and Evan and others had finished and Evan was standing there with no shirt on and I had to make a crack about the guys of MPI not keeping their clothes on. Coach Mark and John both came out and ran with me for a minute. Coach John stayed with me longer and asked me how I was feeling, I told him fine, better than expected but that my pace was really slow. He reassured me that I was doing great and to just keep doing what I was doing.

I ran on and headed toward the first turnaround about 2 miles down the road. On my way back Coach John was waiting for me again and ran with me some more which was really nice. He asked more questions about how I was feeling, thinking etc. and for the first time in my life I felt like a real athlete with tons of support! It made me reflect on how much time, training and strategy I had put into this and also that I was very grateful and glad I had made the investment in MPI but also in myself!

I headed into mile 6 and ran past the finish line and there was a point where we had to go left to do our second loop or go right to finish and I thought for a second how I could just do a 6.5 mile run and call it a day and no one would really be the wiser but then I thought -- I would and I really wanted that 70.3!

So I headed into my second loop and reflected on how much further I had to go but also how far I had come. I thought to myself if I could just shuffle through the next few miles and get to mile 10 I would pretty much know I was going to complete this monster!

In past ½ marathons miles 7-9 have been pretty tough for me and I was worried about it but I kinda went on auto pilot for those miles and just kept pushing through mile by mile – grateful for the water stops at each mile and those wonderful ice cold sponges – just trying to get back to the downtown area and the crowds and mostly my coaches’ tent.

One girl shuffled up next to me and said “Come on girl we can do this…It’s harder for us slower big girls. People who can do this in 4 or 5 hours got it easy, the real challenge is for those of us out here for 6, 7 hours!” I gave a brief laugh and mumbled something like “right on” but I was so focused on keeping my pace and running, so I wasn’t feeling very chatty.

So many people – including that girl – were stopping, grabbing their legs, stretching or walking – and I was determined to hold a pace that I knew wasn’t going to result in me hurt myself and that maybe would leave something extra for the last three miles.

I finally got back into the heart of downtown again around mile 9 or so. The crowds had thinned as a lot of people were finished. I looked at my watch, which I had finally started during T1 and realized I was heading into hour 7. My goal was to keep it under 8 hours and I hoped I could knock the last few miles out in under an hour.

Around the 10-mile mark this incredible sense of euphoria hit me. I thought: 3 miles to go…holy shit, you’re actually going to do this! You’re actually going to finish this thing. You’re 3 miles away from 70.3!!! Look how far you’ve come! You’ve set your mind to something and while you’re not as skinny as you want to be doing this you’re doing it and you’re not dying!!! I thought, damn! If I set my mind to something and I really want to do it -- I’m gonna do it! That’s it, you’re done beating yourself up, you’re done being your own worst enemy, biggest critic and biggest roadblock frankly! You’re going to be proud and your own biggest champion, you can do anything you set your mind to. You’re going to finish a ½ Ironman! This lengthy “positive self talk” as my coach likes to call it, got me through the next mile or so and up to the MPI tent.

Everyone came running out going bananas, knowing I was in the homestretch. Coach John took his shirt off, Jules pretended to flash me, Mom just kinda stood there yelling with this awe struck look on her face, Sarah (who again was probably the biggest Godsend of the weekend) was reassuring and asked if I wanted her to wet my sponge with cold water, and the boys yelled for me to keep going, so I did.

I got up the road to the turn around and knew it was only a few more miles now. I came back around and Coach Mark and Coach John shuffled with me for another minute or so. I said something about my time again and they told me to shut up and that I was having a great race. It’s a good thing I believe and trust them but also that I don’t think either them would make very good liars, because looking at them I think I could tell if they were really disappointed with how long the race was taking me, then again I also think their main goal was for me to finish still standing and according to Coach Mark I was looking a little stronger toward the end of the run, so I think they were pleased and just ready for me to finish!

I headed into the last mile or so thinking this was it, I had to use it up because after this I didn’t have to use it anymore. It was a long last mile, but once I turned the corner, past the backside of the finish and started rounding the corner to the finishing chute I kinda went numb.

The Finish

I remember turning the corner and hearing the crazy drill sergeant cop who was telling us we couldn’t walk and that we had to suck it up, I knew I was close! By the time I was finishing he had done so much screaming he was now hoarse and would go to yell at us and then have a coughing fit. Ever since the turn-off to do the second loop my goal had been to make it back to him and I had!

I finally passed him and turned the corner toward the finish. That’s when my friend Doug Bell appeared and ran down the road toward me screaming my name and telling me to go. He got the crowd pumped and people I didn’t even know where clapping and screaming my name and it all kicked in and I just started sprinting toward the finishing chute. As soon as I turned into that chute and started running down it, it was like fireworks went off inside my body! I thought I would cry but instead it was like someone had pumped me full of steroids and I just started screaming “Yeahhhhh! Yeahhhhhh!” and pumping my fist.

I crossed the finish line in 7 hours and 43 minutes. Mom, Sarah, Coach John and Coach Mark were all right there. I hugged Mom, then Coach John and Coach Mark and finally Sarah. I felt so amazing and accomplished!!! The rain was back and it started pouring again so the celebration was short lived but I was on a complete high and instantly started talking to the coaches about what I needed to work on.

Mom looked shocked and inquired, “Shouldn’t se be falling down or something?” The coaches explained that this was a very normal endorphin high and that I would come down in a bit.

The Aftermath

That said, I think the high lasted for about a week. Jules is convinced that the Savannah River had something to do with my high, which we later found out had enough E-coli in it that they shut the damn to prevent any more from entering the water out of concern for the athletes’ health. She then proceeded to explain to me that the number one contaminant they find in E-coli laden river water is antidepressants and she’s convinced I got a nice dose during the swim and it’s contributed to my happier disposition.

She might be right and if that’s the case then, I will be seeking out a prescription shortly!

But really I attribute it to truly finding myself somewhere along the way of those 70.3 miles, or really more likely over the course of 6 months of training that culminated in those 70.3 miles.

I have always been a very negative person when it comes to myself, truly my own harshest critic. But when you’re training for hours upon hours a week, many of those alone and then being out there for many hours alone on the race course, you learn about yourself, you talk to yourself a lot and you really figure out who you are -- or as it was for me what’s holding you back.

For me it’s been a mixture of things, fear, self-deprecation, loathing, doubt, laziness, gluttony, vanity, sadness, the list goes on and on. But slowly, over all that training, all that exertion, all that pain, all those things holding me back fell away. You do what you need to do and what you know you can do and really what you’ve trained to do.

It becomes “I can and I will” versus “I can’t or I don’t want to.” That was the biggest difference about this challenge. I picked it – although sometimes I think it picked me – and I was out there because I wanted to be. Yes, it was challenging, yes sometimes I doubted myself and thought for sure I would fail – even during the race out on the bike course – but that’s when I would dig in, or I would go to bed and say tomorrow is another training day.

It’s also when I would remind myself of all the “cant’s” I had encountered in my life. Words spoken by either me, or others throughout my life, telling me I couldn’t do something. Somewhere on that racecourse “can’t” fell away and is no longer a word in my vocabulary.

Something may be hard, and it may take a long time or a lot of work…but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it…it just means I might have to work harder than others, does that make me weaker? Hell no! In fact in some ways when I think things don’t come so easily and you gotta work for it, well that makes you stronger.

That’s what I love about the sport of triathlon, it’s not really easy for anyone, we’re all just at different levels, have different goals, and when we get out there on race day, no matter how fast, how fit, or how long we’ve been doing this, we start with the same goal – crossing the finish line on our own terms and in our own time.

Very many people are owed a tremendous thanks for a race day I will always remember and treasure but some played a particularly important role in getting me across that finish line and to them I am indebted forever...

MPI – Coach John and Coach Mark – My multisport coaches, my friends, my angels. As you say we still have a lot of work to do but had it not been for your expertise, constant wisdom, patience and greater endurance than exerted on any race course, I know I would have never crossed that finish line in Augusta. I look forward to many more races and successes under your tutelage always being your eager and unknowing Grasshopper to both of your all-knowing triathlon wisdom!

Jules – When I really started loving this sport and embracing it as a hobby you were the first to take me under your wing. A far superior and more experienced athlete, you never once made me feel any less than a triathlete than you and you make the sport fun, challenging and something to treasure. You are, and always will be family and I hope that everyone will come to know what a true ambassador you are for the sport of triathlon and a shining example of everything that makes this sport amazing!

Sarah – One of my best friends always but truly my angel race weekend! My sidekick in life and in Augusta, I will be indebted to you forever for how tirelessly you were by my side that weekend, no questions asked. You were my best cheerleader out there, helped me stay calm both on and off the race course and documented the race both with your camera, with my Iphone and on Facebook like no one else could have! You were and always will be one of the true treasures in my life. Next year I hope you’re by my side on the race course!!!

The Pensacola Crew – (Melissa, Nancy, Evan, Hicks, Andrew, Millie) You all have become training buddies, some of my dearest (and fastest) friends and really some of my favorite people in the world. Also ambassadors for this sport, you all represent the “can do” attitude that is so invaluable in triathlon and I proudly race and train far behind you in the hopes of someday catching up!!

Ronnie – The biggest pain in my ass, or was I the biggest pain in yours? Either way if it weren’t for you harassing me on the St. Mark’s trail one day in May, and sticking with me and telling me to suck it up during some of my lowest points during the training, I probably would have given up this summer nor would I have the expression “Make those hills your bitch” or the knowledge of being like a “ninja” on the bike. May we have many more rides together, just don’t cry like too much of a little bitch when I start dropping your ass for real.

Mom – There’s a million things I can say here…but I’ll just say thank you for being my Mom, for always being there, believing in me, and raising me to be one tough cookie. To never give up and to stop worrying so much about what other people might think or say. You are one of the strongest women I know and a constant inspiration!

No more monkey business...

Sometimes it takes hitting the road to realize just how far you've come. I approached the month of July with a sense of dread with a calendar jam-packed with travel for both work and pleasure and the knowledge that it was just the beginning of an increase in my training volume as I reached the midway point in my 1/2 Ironman training.

It was daunting and I didn't have a lot of faith in myself that while on the road I would be able to keep up with the training or have the desire to stick with it much less the healthy, metabolic efficient eating my coaches and I have made a priority. How do you get in 6-plus servings of veggies a day while entertaining clients, eating out, flying on planes and traveling on Florida highways for 8 hours at a time.

But armed with commitment, fear of failure come September 26, friends and amazing coaches, I can proudly say I am 8 weeks out from Augusta 70.3, several pounds lighter, on track with my training and the happiest and healthiest I have been in years. I guess you could say that I can feel that monkey coming off my back and the fire in my belly to get to Augusta 70.3 and kick it's ass!

And I did it by having a plan and sticking to it despite the fact that my free-spirited nature bucks at following a script to closely, I found the change of scene, having to seek out new training buddies and using my training as the only "me" time I got during two weeks on the road was a pretty good formula for success!

The other thing I'm learning along the way...don't be afraid to listen to you body and take a break when you need it, talk to you support system, whether that be friends, family, coaches or training partners, and most importantly enjoy the trip! The road to any triathlon Ironman distance or otherwise can be long but it doesn't have to be lonely and it certainly can be fun...that's what makes race day icing and who doesn't like the icing!?

Just Doing It!

The road to reaching your fitness goals can be lonely sometimes. Especially when that road is a hilly one that you get dropped on by a pack of road riders that hold 20-something miles per hour in 90 degree heat and humidity.

For 8 full weeks now I've been completely mentally and physically invested in training for a 1/2 Ironman that is a mere 3 months away. While that may seem like a long time, 3 months began to feel dauntingly near during training this weekend that left me sweaty, tired, and gasping for air -- and it's only officially summer today! Which meant it dawned on me that I'm only a few pounds lighter, still slow as shit on the run and pretty sure these stumps they call legs attached to my 5'2 frame are eventually going to fly off as I continue to try to keep riding the hills of Tallahassee at a desperate pace with the maniacs on bikes I've been riding with!

A hard week of training concluded on Sunday with 3 hours of training: 2 1/2 hours in the saddle, 38.2 miles, and a 30 minute run that had me dangerously close to puking several times. I spent the rest of the day feeling pretty down and like I'm kidding myself that I'll ever make it to Augusta in September and completing a 1/2 Ironman.

When I get low like this, when I'm beating myself up about my performance, instead of being a miserable negative beast, I've learned to dig into the positive influences -- friends, family, coaches and training partners -- that I have smartly and somewhat luckily been able to surround myself with as I continue this journey. It's a huge step for me to ask for help, get reassurance and keep going rather than throwing in the towel and quitting. In the past that's the route I've chosen and of course it's an easier one.

But sometimes you also need a slightly more jarring reminder of why you do what you do....which is why stumbling upon this Livestrong promo today thanks to a friend's Facebook post, couldn't have been more appropos.

Watching this reminded me why I'm doing this, challenging myself to this extent to do something that I never thought I could do, and frankly, some days still question if I will do.

This helped me remember that I'm not necessarily doing this to be the best or fastest -- as I am sometimes am at fault for beating myself up relentlessly for not being either one! But you gotta just do it! Especially for those who can't, or more aptly put, for those who have a much bigger challenge than getting through a race that you've trained for. There's no training for the race they're enduring, and as someone who's witnessed the battle firsthand, it's a good reminder to ignore that monkey on my back and get off my ass and quit feeling sorry for myself when the going gets tough!!!

Inspiration and motivation

Be inspired...Inspire others...

Not sure who said it but I like it! It's a quote that one of my coaches told me when I was talking with him about all the inspiration I'd encountered over the weekend.

A lot of my inspiration was a result of my participation in Tallahassee's annual Ride for Hope which raises money for the local cancer center. As someone who has experienced a significant amount of loss from the wretched disease, it is one thing I do each year to honor those who have lost their battle to the disease, the tremendous warriors who continue to fight and defeat it and raise money so that not only can we find a cure, but that we ensure that there are advancements in treatment and comfort for those fighting the disease!

Actually when I think about it, sitting in a grueling spin class in DC with my ruthless instructor James (those of you who live in DC and endured one of his classes know exactly what I'm talking about!) was the first time I fathomed doing an endurance event. I remember thinking if I can get through James' class why couldn't I do an endurance event like the upcoming riding from North Carolina to Washington to raise money and awareness for HIV/AIDS. I never ended up signing up for the ride in all my years living there, always saying "next year," but it was sitting sweating it out on that bike, gasping for air but having the ability to endure, that made me first start thinking about challenging myself and pushing my "healthy" body to the limit.

I thought about this a lot on Saturday during a grueling ride that was supposed to be a metric century (100 kilometers or 62 miles) but due to a counting error or inability to make the course work from start to finish without adding extra miles, was 69.7 miles!

There was the Florida heat and humidity to endure, the huge horseflies making lunch out of the legs of a sweaty bike riders who slathered on sunscreen prior to the start of the ride, bugs that hit your face at 20 mph and made a splat noise like you were a windshield, so-called dead zones with no tree coverage, blazing sun, semi-trucks blowing past you and barely moving over, and then there was pelting rain the last few miles, which helped cool you off but limited visibility. And yet through all of this -- around mile 66, at which point my ass had completely become one with the bike seat, I thought I can do this. I am physically able to do this and how amazing is that!?

I thought about my Dad, struggling as cancer took over a once athletic and fit 49 year-old body. Nothing he could do, no energy reserves to draw from, just helplessness as that disease ravaged his body, breaking bones and growing tumors everywhere. I thought about the other people who couldn't physically be out there and how lucky I am to have a healthy body that I can push and train and tell to do things that if I put my mind to it and give my muscles the training and recovery they need, will do it! How could I have wasted any time not using this body that I've been blessed with? A body that at some point may not be capable of doing these things, activities that many others who are sick or physically challenged may only wish and dream they were able to do.

Now, I'm not saying everyone has to pick up and start training for an Ironman, but I do think we've got to respect what physical abilities we've been given and the fact that life is short!

It has been 16 years since I lost my father. He was the most amazing man I have ever known and I cherish the 18 years I was blessed with having him here in my life but as time passes although the pain of losing a parent never goes away, it dissipates and life's distractions certainly take away from the constant reminders.

However, there is one place I have found myself always reconnecting with my father despite the passage of time and that's when I'm training. When I first took up running to lose weight more than ten years ago, it was his hand I imagined on my back, pushing me to keep going. When I'm riding and a bright red cardinal flies across my path I think of him. When I want to quit, I think of how proud he would be if he was there. As I endure I hear the words of encouragement that he shouted as I raced across the length of the pool or the encouragement he would give from behind home plate at every softball game.

Perhaps it is a result of the fact that I'm pretty sure I get my competitive nature from him, but so often I still feel his presence behind me today much like I did all those years ago as a teenager swinging a bat. Whether out on a long bike ride, or during a triathlon or even just running on the trails. He is and always will be my inspiration and the driving force pushing me to just keep going further, faster and harder.

So whether it is a Ride for Hope, or just daily training, a walk in the park, or even playing with your kids, don't forget to respect and treasure the physical abilities you do have and keep your eyes and heart open -- you never know what might inspire you or who you might inspire along the way!

New Attitude

To quote the effervescent Patti LaBelle, "I've got a new attitude!" (My apologies to those readers who don't recall the 80s!) I don't know if it's the beginning of summer, a long holiday weekend, new coaches or just time, but I am approaching this week with a whole new, seemingly positive attitude.

I found myself with a new spring in my step today, my shoulders back and my head held high. I couldn't figure out at first where this positive outlook was coming from, but I was hesitant to question it too much as it was making me highly spirited, motivated and helped me check things off my to do list like Oprah handing out her giveaways!

On my way to lunch, which consisted of cranking out 2300 meters in the pool and doing some of the coach-prescribed breathing drills which caused me to feel like I may have left a lung behind in the deep end, I contemplated what was up with the new attitude.

Throughout my life I've been blessed with a pretty big crowd of supporters, cheerleaders. All believing in me and expressing to me often that they had faith that I could do whatever I put my mind to. All of these people are in my life for different reasons, some are blood relatives, some are friends from childhood or college and we're stuck with each other because we know where the bodies are buried, and others are friends, neighbors and colleagues I've been lucky enough to acquire over the years. The newest addition to the group are my tri buddies and most importantly my coaches.

However, standing among the crowd there has always been the one or two doubters, always the loudest voice in the crowd to me - a singular voice that inexplicable I always heard and believed. Gymnastic coaches who despite my abilities told me they wouldn't teach me advanced tumbling unless I cut weight, softball coaches who knew I was a consistent homerun hitter but cut me anyway because I couldn't round the bases fast enough, so-called mean girls who will say what they'll say and even the highschool drama teacher who told my mother she'd never give me a lead regardless of my talent because I was just "too fat."

I heard those doubting, judgmental voices and internalized them the most and came to believe them and only see myself as they did. All, despite conquering many personal, physical and even professional hurdles.

My cheerleaders have been telling me for years I have to drop the self-loathing and negative Nancy attitude I adopted to veil the hurt and fear. While, I suppose my oft negative, self-deprecating commentary is partially because I find great humor in self deprecation (mine or anyone else's for that matter), part narcissism and part because there are days where I really don't like myself and every flaw, every imperfection, every failing -- physical, mental and emotional -- all seem glaringly exposed. It's like there is a neon sign stamped across my head for the world to see and it's easier to join the rest of the world in its acknowledgment rather than being in denial. And in my opinion acknowledging your perceived failings is often easier if you're the first, loudest and funniest!

As I took to Facebook recently during one such moment with a status post that was filled with both self-doubt and dripping with poor Pollyanna sentiment, the first to respond was a dear friend and my new tri coach, Coach Murray. He said simply: "Let all your self-talk be positive!"

For months, years actually I've been raking up race numbers, taking on challenging races and events I'd never thought I'd complete 2 years ago. Making a conscious choice not just to challenge myself, but to better myself physically but if I was willing to make the physical and personal sacrifice why wouldn't I also want to be improving my mental training?

This may be the hardest challenge of all for me, but yesterday standing in my kitchen, listening to a great friend tell me she believed in me and demand that I start doing the same for myself as she stood in front of the my fridge peppered with the race numbers (lest I forgot my goals and go for the bag of peanut butter M&Ms buried in the back) I had a moment where I started listening and let this positive voice be the loudest in the crowd.

And it dawned on me, and my mother will read this and say she's been telling me this for years, but I finally said it out loud and it's still hard to write it here: I not only believed the doubters -- I became one of them. If someone said I couldn't do something, I didn't. If someone said I wasn't good enough for something I stopped trying. I even stopped writing at one point because an editor told me I needed better editing, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure that was his job!

Before I completed my first triathlon in 2007, I just quit when things got tough and I believed it when people or even myself told me I wasn't good enough, without even trying! It's taken me 3 years to get to this point, some pretty tough challenges, and even more inspiring and loud cheerleaders in my life -- but I've dug deep and found that spirited little girl again, who despite her chubby thighs and potbelly taught herself to do a roundoff back handspring off the high beam when the coaches said no.

Whether you're thinking about getting off the couch for your first 5k or attempting your first triathlon or just going to a yoga class, whatever the challenge, the monkey on you back, take it from me and my new attitude, do it. Because at the end of the day, it's only you that can let that monkey weigh you down. Or, you can let that monkey be your biggest cheerleader, touting a positive banner bearing a reminder of how far you've come and how far you'll go!

If the shoe fits....

OK, if you know me at all you know I'm a girl who looooves my shoes! I love everything about any kind of shoes, be it shoes for work, shoes for play (these would be 4 inches or higher generally open-toe) shoes that get you where you're going or most importantly shoes that help you move your ass!

Whether you're a walker, runner, gym rat, triathlete or marathoner we all have one piece of equipment in common and that's what we wear on our feet. When I first started working out a couple years ago I went with what I thought looked good, did I like the color, did I have gym clothes that matched etc....giving very little consideration to whether or not they would help or hinder my training! It's all about looking good right!? Wrong! After numerous years or working out in various forms -- walking, boxing, step classes, trail running and now triathlon training I have learned, much to my horror, 1) it's not about how good they look and 2) this is not a one-size-fits-all situation!

Take for example my recent shoe foray and lesson learned the hard way:

For the last year or so of training I have been wearing Asics. I switched from Nike (typically a pretty narrow shoe) to the roomier Asics. I love them and of course they, like Nike, are a well worn brand.

But it's not all in the brand I have come to find out...you have to also consider the style or model, in terms of how they fit your feet and personal running style. I've learned this lesson the hard way over the last year.

First, last year as I began training for my first Olympic distance triathlon and upped my running mileage from the average 3 miles to 6, I began experiencing severe achillis pain. After struggling for several weeks and enduring the pain, figuring it was just my body adapting to the longer runs, I discussed it with my running partner, who was a much more experienced runner. She said it could be the fit of the shoe and had I ever gotten fitted. I said no and kept painfully running along...but after the run we began looking at running shoes and I ended up ordering a pair with a wider toe box, Asics Nimbus -- it helped that they had lots of purple on them!

The change in shoes in addition to regular massages helped my achillis problems stop almost immediately. I spent the next 6 months running in the shoes and even training for three 1/2 marathons with little or no achillis pain!

I did two 1/2 marathons in the Nimbus but by the time my third 1/2 marathon rolled around and considering the shoes had weathered a virtual typhoon for the 1/2 at Pensacola Beach in January, I decided it was time to retire them. Why I didn't just replace them with a new pair of the same style, I'll never know, but I noticed a lot of my training buddies were wearing a style called Kayano, so I opted for those. I did the rest of my training and competed in the Seaside 1/2 in the new kicks...only problem was I began experiencing foot and calf pain...figuring this was just my body being over a Winter of running, I ignored it, including during the Seaside race when my left foot fell completely asleep for a good 2 miles.

Now Spring is here and it's the beginning of tri season and my running training calls for significantly shorter distances but I was struggling more and more with my runs and how fatigued my feet and legs were feeling. I complained to some friends while in Ft. Lauderdale for business and was told I had to go get fitted. My friend Dan had done it and elevated knee problems he was having while running. So I marched into Runners World in Aventura (If you're in Aventura I highly recommend them!) And was told my shift from Nimbus to Kayano was a huge mistake! They're two totally different shoes for two totally different kinds of feet! Who knew? The shoe expert at the story spent a lot of time analyzing my feet from several angles, which was a bit awkward but when he was done he told me pretty much all of my predispositions about my feet and the kind of shoes I should have were wrong!

Now I have a new pair of Asics that are suited for my feet! Oh and they other tip they gave me....run errands in your new running shoes before you take them out for a real spin...this will help break them in.

Bottom line, whatever your sport or activity, it's important to make sure you have the right equipment even on our feet! Working out and staying motivated is challenging enough....this is a simple fix that can make every step you take a whole lot easier or much harder, literally!

For those of you who are interested in getting an assessment of your feet and recommendatiosn on shoes here are a couple of places that I know of that do it:

South Florida: Runner's World, Runners Depot
DC/STL/City folks: Fleet Feet
Tallahassee: Shaw's

Well triathlon season has begun...I am happy to say I kicked it off quite well with the Red Hills triathlon in Tallahassee a couple weekends ago! A bunch or buddies from Pensacola came over to compete and let's just say, they showed the Tally folks how it's done, tearing up the course and many of them placing! I even made a run at placing in the Athena category.

Racing Athena....
I decided to ditch my age group and race with the "big girls." This means you have to weigh in before the race, and while it's considered the "big girls" category the weight starts at 145 lbs! Which means you have girls that look like me -- with a little excess junk in the trunk -- but you can also have girls who are just tall and lean and mean! Needless to say I was 1st out of the water, 3rd on the bike and fell back to 5th in the run, finishing 4th overall! I'll get you next time Athenas!

I was so inspired I've done a couple things to stay motivated and continue pushing myself this season. I'm using some coaches to help me plan my training but also hold me accountable and keep me motivated when I hit a wall. I also have a pretty aggressive season plan with an "A" race planned, which is a 1/2 Ironman.

Things get a little frustrating when you're not getting as lean and fast as I would like to be but instead of being the defeatist that I tended to be in the past, I've decided to push myself to stay motivated and seek help when I need it in the form of training buddies in Tally and Pcola, coaches, this blog, not training alone all the time and starting this blog and the Facebook Group!

It's funny, the more people you talk to, the more you realize and hear it's not a piece of cake for anyone. We all have our off days, we all hit peaks and valleys and we all have a desire to challenge ourselves, sometimes it's just tough to have the motivation to do it...guess we all have a monkey on our back!